[titleless]

I have no title for today because I have no grand proclamation. I'm still sick. It still sucks. 

Let's make a list. Bad things:

1. Doctors appointments

2. Waiting for shows to go on demand

3. Pneumonia

4. Cancer

5. Missing Amy's bday party

6. That my friends have to work and can only hang out weekends

7. I'm too tired to hang out 50% of the time

8.I had a nap-mare today

Good things:
1. Tates learning not to bark non-stop we hope
2. I can still see out of the left eye
3. Kara is coming Thursday
4. Lisa and Bill are getting us PF Changs this week
5. Robert is coming Saturday
6. I'm awake 50% of the time
7. I did some of my billing
8. I had lunch with friends last Thursday

Okay, honestly, the bad list was way easier to write. Sometimes it hard to remember there is so much good and this is going to get better. I will get better. I will figure out a way to fight through this even though it just feels pretty miserable. 

One very good thing happened since my last post - I was able to do underwater photos! I had thought I would be unable too but because the PICC came out- I did them! I am still waiting for the fabulous Erena to send me edited images but here is a preview of what we did: 

Getting all ready…

New friend!!

Given a chance, I'd so try this again

Deep end!!

Friends xoxo

Now that's a lens.

Special thanks and shout out to Ihadcancer.com for setting up this amazing experience and helping me check another item off my to-see list. It was especially amazing because the team from IHC wore team sweet emily shirts and Erena spent so much time with me. I loved meeting her and the experience was even better than expected!

I guess I had more to say after all. Upon reflection, a lot happened in two weeks. I also ended up at the ER on Halloween night (kidneys weren't functioning up to par and I was dehydrated according to my labs). It was so disappointing because I wanted to see the little trick or treaters. At least Tate got to dress up for a hot second as a hot dog… 

And with that, I'm off- -  thanks for reading

Love,

Emily

PS. Was watching TV the other night… does this look familiar? Yup, it's New York Pres - but edited for The Mindy Project!

... this is harder than anyone mentioned.

Hi everyone!

Just decided to bring the blog back. It's been awhile - the last time I was here we were talking about wigs and weaves. Well, only wigs. And round three of chemo. Seems like years ago - it was years ago.

Now, flash forward two years - and we're in a totally different ball park. You can of course keep up with my caringbridge that has my medical journal. (See link under contact).

But, we're here now - so I think I'll just pick up where I am. You'll catch up eventually...

Tomorrow I am supposed to have Avastin (a type of drug that stops new blood supply from "feeding" the tumor). My platelets are low - they were only 24 on Friday and after a transfusion, we're not even breaking 45. I may have another transfusion tomorrow.

The doctor will probably check my eyes. It's scary how quickly the left field is decreasing (I'm already totally blind in the right eye. Yes, we believe this is permanent).

I wrote a note to myself about losing more vision:
Pro: You know what to expect
Con: You know what to expect

Some exciting things coming up: going to Baltimore with Dad this weekend to visit my brother and eat crabs! (Yum). Next weekend mom and my "aunt" Cindy (her college rooommate who I'm close with) and I are going to VEGAS! We're going to see Celine in concert, some sharks at Mandalay Bay and the Bellagio Fountains. Now those are things to be SEEN.

I tink this is enough of a post for tonight. It's hard to read the screen so excuse any typos. Maybe this is a silly question - but has anyone else lost vision? Lost a sense? How did you deal? It's very isolating because I look fine... (see proof!)

xo
Emily