...you hate drying your hair anyway.

10 Reasons why I will be sad when my hair falls out in the next 2 weeks:

1. I have gorgeous blonde hair. It's longer than my picture. Prior to my stint in the hospital it was even longer...
2. ...I was in the process of growing it out. 
3. I think I look better with longer hair
4. I don't want to be fat (that's steroids) and bald
5. What if it never grows back the same?
6. What if I die before it grows back? 
7. Once I had a really awkward short hair cut. I am looking forward to the "growing in" process even less than the falling out...
8. Speaking of.... hair falling out is gross
9. I can't curl my wig
10. I have a great collection of hair accessories and I don't know how they will look with a wig

10 Reasons why I will not be sad when my hair falls out:

1. No "bad hair days"
2. No drying hair (with mine it takes 15 + minutes)
3. Save money on expensive hair products
4. I look good in hats
5. Don't have to pay for hair cuts or highlights
6. I can pick out whatever kind of hair I want...
7. ...in theory I can even have multiple hair styles
8. I like the feel of a buzzed head
9. I've heard (okay read online) that showering bald is cool
10. I can get ready in less time and look better

Con - Britney rocked bald.

... you have a new hobby, cancer.

I was telling my dad how a few posts ago I thought I needed a new hobby. He pointed out that now I have one, cancer. Specifically, cancer and my Ipad. I troll other blogs and forums and sites like it's my job. I make and attend Drs appointments like my life depended on it. Oh wait, both of these statements are true.

I'm exploring raw food. I say that with a complete grain of salt (figuratively)... I just don't have the dedication to be Kris Carr. However, I am mastering the green drink and I am the proud owner of a new VitaMix. I mean, my parents are the proud new owners of a VitaMix... I am just leasing it. Tonight I tried to make banana ice cream but was less than impressed. My mom did make avocado salad dressing that was delicious for our salads at lunch.

Sometimes I make inappropriate cancer jokes or just say things that might make people question if I have a brain tumor (ha, I do). Exhibit a, I was at the nail salon with Katie. She asked what the aerosol that you spray on your nails to help them dry does... as she finds it questionable. I said, "It used to worry me too, but I figure I already have cancer..." - the lady across from me was aghast. Exhibit b, at my first radiation appointment the resident said "hypothetically, if I was treating you for prostate cancer..." I interrupted him and said "oh hunny, if you were treating me for prostate cancer, we'd have other problems..." Yes, I called the resident hunny. He's never really spoken to me at length since.

Well, its 15 minutes away from chemo time. It's pretty amazing to take chemo at home and not have to deal with a port or ivs and a chair. I do recognize how lucky I am. Temodar so far has not been unbearable, however, it did give me awful stomach cramps on day 2. Like, laying in the back of the car on the radiation, moaning cramps. After three calls to the chemo nurses (so wonderful!), an antacid did the trick. I've just been taking it every morning and that seems to help. I haven't heard or found many other people having this side effect but don't think its out of the realm of possibilities.

I am tired tonight. Luckily, I will sleep as soon as I take the chemo pill and miss any potential effects.

Keep calm and carry on ~ Emily

...you have an inoperable brain tumor.

Welp, I guess that post in April was ominous.. or just wrong. Your head did hurt that bad.

Shortly after my last post, my dr ordered an MRI which revealed a brain tumor. Inoperable, but surgery was necessary to create a drain for the CSF that was building up, causing really bad headaches and vomiting. After a month of living in the neuro ICU at Columbia Presbyterian, I am home, doing radiation and chemotherapy (Temodar).

The tumor is an Anaplastic Astrocytoma, they think. Specifically they are calling it "high grade."

I'm going to start writing in this blog again as an outlet, and hopefully to connect with other people online going through this journey.

I am treating at MSKCC and Columbia Presbyterian.